Saturday, October 24, 2015

Confessing My Sins... - Day 14

Two weeks in and my journey with food has been good maybe 75% of the time. I have had several slip ups and ate quite a few sweet treats...the damage is listed by episode: 1/2 of an almond croissant, 1 almond croissant, 1 banana nut muffin, 1 piece of pound cake, and 1 banana nut muffin. Here's the crazy part, I didn't buy any of them! They were treats that my mother got from a friend who works in a bakery. I should also mention that my mother gets them on a weekly basis. In a previous post, I mentioned that sugar was my biggest nemesis and my mother knows this, but she doesn't seem to care that I struggle with it every single day, but yet reminds me frequently that I'm fat.

I have asked her to not accept so many treats and bread from her friend, but my mom's sweet tooth is as big as mine. I tell her it's not healthy for either of us, but she just shrugs her shoulders and dismisses my remarks. I know that ultimately it's not her fault that I gave into temptation, I mean really I should just be able to look at a counter full of sweets and on a weekly basis say, "No, I will not partake in a sweet treat!" I will get there!

It's not fair that I try to blame my mom, it was solely my decision to break down and eat sugar crack! I just wish that she would be a little more supportive, but I guess she's been here with me before and doesn't know how serious this journey will be for me. Well, I could tell her that I'm blogging about it, telling the world how much I weigh and what I'm feeling, but she has no idea what a blog is or how exposed I've made myself.

I know I'm not going to have this magical journey down a road filled with only joy and happiness and no bumps in the road. It's a journey I've started many times and ended way too soon. I'm going to make this journey interesting by blogging about it every day until I reach my goal. I forsee some really short entries, but it's something I know I need to experience and explore; I can't fully explain why I'm blogging about my obesity, but I know the deeper reasons will surface and I'll be able to battle my fat for the very last time.

I saw this beautiful painting called, "Fall Road" done by my friend Paul King III on his Facebook page and just knew it had to be part of my journey. He has a lot of great paintings, but this one spoke to me. Maybe this is my magical path to finding my healthier version of myself, I suppose not. It's a good reminder, though, that my journey is never ending and that like the leaves that fall and come back anew in the spring, so too will I.


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